Gordon in the morning: A man in control

You'll have been worrying if Gordon's column today is the genuine thing, or if LulzSec still has control of the Sun website.

There's a bunch of made-up stories all over the Bizarre page, and a bunch of stuff that wouldn't appear in a proper newspaper. So, hard to tell.

But hang on, what's this?

NOEL Gallagher's first hurdle as a solo artist will be having to face Coldplay in a battle of the albums.

The guitarist will have a job on his hands to stay at the top of the charts for more than one week this autumn.

Chris Martin and the band are releasing their latest offering seven days later.

A facile "chart battle" story about two records that aren't even being released on the same day? With Noel Gallagher involved?

This Gordon Smart column passes Some Sort Of Turing Test.